Saturday night I was so excited because I got to go grocery shopping ALL BY MYSELF! Nobody to grab things off the shelf while we are cruising too close to the goods, no one to ask thirty MILLION times, "Can I please have a _______" It was great.
Until I got to Wal-Mart.
Now, I had really quit going to the blessed store, because I was just tired of the crowds, lack of service, etc... But, I thought I would try it out just this once. Bad idea.
About half of the items I needed apparently everyone else in the greater Utah Valley needed as well. I just started looking down the aisle for the blank spots on the shelves to find what I needed, and alas, what they didn't have. Now, granted I was trying to shop AT Wal-Mart, on a SATURDAY, at 10:30 pm, but really, don't they have those magic shelves that refill upon demand?
The other problem was the fact that they were indeed preparing to fill those vast empty shelves so there were pallets of boxed, canned, and bagged foods cumbering all the aisles, so much so that at one point I really couldn't figure out how to get from one part of the store to the next because all roads led to nowhere (or in this case, pallets galore). I did find the secret passage way right next to the baby wipes and water jug refilling station (which turned out to be just a mirage).
I made my way over to the meat section looking for the elusive turkey ham, when a mad stampede of teenagers on motorized shopping carts almost ran me down at speeds of 3 miles per hour.
I found the turkey ham I desired, but it was heavily guarded by cases of canned green beans and pineapple. I decided to take matters into my own hands. I scaled the walls of canned goods and dropped into the previously unexplored territory of fake ham. I nabbed my catch and scrambled back to my waiting shopping cart, only to find that I had been surrounded by a band of fork lifts. Lobbing frozen peas at my enemies, I was able to safely make it back to Check stand #14 where I paid 124.45 for my wonderful adventure!
Beat THAT Target!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY VITTORIA!!!!!
3 years ago
3 comments:
I love it! Mandy you finally started climbing. Now you gotta do the real thing so you can be faster and better at climbing those walmart pallets. lol
$124.45 is like, half of my rent. I wish I could afford an adventure like that... until then I stick with boring old Smith's. I get 5% off just for being a student! Woot.
PS - I miss you guys. I need to visit.
Gotta love Walmart--Chris thinks he needs a bumper sticker that says "My wife and my money go to Walmart!"--If it's ever published, I'll get you one too!
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